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Literature Text
Pretty boy, pretty boy,
Won't you be my toy?
What's your name, what's your game;
Can I join it too?
Pretty smile, pretty smile,
But sometimes it looks so vile.
Do you play, do you play
With your life on stake?
Pretty eyes, pretty eyes,
Yet they seem to look so far.
What's the pain, where's the gain,
When I see sadness in your eyes?
Pretty boy, pretty boy,
I don't want you to be my toy.
You were hurt, and you're fragile,
Althoug you hide it very good.
But it takes one to know one..
Won't you be my toy?
What's your name, what's your game;
Can I join it too?
Pretty smile, pretty smile,
But sometimes it looks so vile.
Do you play, do you play
With your life on stake?
Pretty eyes, pretty eyes,
Yet they seem to look so far.
What's the pain, where's the gain,
When I see sadness in your eyes?
Pretty boy, pretty boy,
I don't want you to be my toy.
You were hurt, and you're fragile,
Althoug you hide it very good.
But it takes one to know one..
Wrote it on May 6, 2012.
© 2012 - 2024 TiaVon
Comments5
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Overall Vision Originality Technique ImpactThe use of repetition has been done well and helps with noticing how the voice of the poem feels about this boy. The rhythm is smooth and doesn't stutter during any point of the poem.
I like the rhyme scheme of aabc, however in the third stanza it doesn't follow the rhyme pattern, which throws the poem off a bit.
As well as this, the last line in the 3rd stanza doesn't make much sense. I think 'Although you hide it well' sound better. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="15" height="15" alt="
" data-embed-type="emoticon" data-embed-id="391" title=" (Smile)"/>The poem is engaging from beginning to end, and it also ends strongly. I like how the tone changes from admiring someone to questioning them.
Keep up the good work! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/h/h…" width="38" height="15" alt="
" data-embed-type="emoticon" data-embed-id="160" title="Hug"/>